How are you?

By Wendy Perrotti

This morning, an Instagram ad for a Halloween T-shirt caught my eye. (When did Halloween get so gory, anyway?)

Something else about it grabbed me, though.

If you’ve ever worked with a coach, chances are the person you started as is somewhat different than the one you grew into. It’s also likely that the first things that began shifting for you hadn’t even been on your radar. 

That's because our most disruptive patterns are usually invisible to us. We can't change what we don't see.

One of the most frequent patterns is defaulting to…

"I'm fine." 

"It's fine." 

"Oh, that??? It's fine."

This habit regularly goes hand-in-hand with unrealized goals or a deep, unspoken longing for more. If this sounds familiar, you might also feel guilty for wanting more than you have or worry that pursuing your dreams will disrupt others' lives. So, you push those longings aside.

"It's fine."

Here's the thing: being okay amidst chaos is a superpower. It contributes significantly to a stable, relatively happy life. But like all superpowers, it has its kryptonite.

If "I'm fine" means you're moving forward, connected to your authentic self and pursuing your true desires – high five, Grasshopper! It's working for you.

But if "I'm fine" means forcing a smile while wearing that metaphorical bloody T-shirt? It might be time to change your thinking. Compared to your life today, what would be different if you really meant it when you said, "I'm fine"?

Maybe it's time to start making your way there.