The SHOULDiest Time of the Year
"Most of what stops us from truly feeling what we want to experience over the holidays is all the SHOULD we heap on ourselves (and everyone else)."
― Dana Hilmer & Wendy Perrotti
Let's start with a little quiz.
How often do you...
Try to create a holiday experience based on what others expect and think?
Always Usually Sometimes Never
Try to be who you think you should be to make everyone around you happy?
Always Usually Sometimes Never
Think family dynamics should magically be perfect on special days?
Always Usually Sometimes Never
Feel angry or sad when others don’t appreciate you and your efforts?
Always Usually Sometimes Never
Resent when others don't participate the way you hoped or expected they would?
Always Usually Sometimes Never
Overspend to make people happy?
Always Usually Sometimes Never
Feel guilty about or responsible for everyone else's experience?
Always Usually Sometimes Never
Feel sad that you never have the holiday you dreamed you'd have?
Always Usually Sometimes Never
The amount of stress, overwhelm and heaviness you feel around the holidays is directly related to the number of sometimes, usually and always you circled.
In truth, those are just a sprinkling of the holiday shoulds - but don't despair.
Shifting out of the holiday SHOUD-show and into presence, inner peace and joy is much easier than you think.
Begin by answering these two questions:
What do you want to experience over the holiday season?
How do you want to show up? (Generally, the most useful way to answer this question is with adjectives describing the way you want to feel.)
The answer to the first question will help guide what you'll make time for (and what you won't) as well as what you will and won't allow in.
The answer to the second will help you maintain an energy that's aligned with what matters most to you. You'll probably be surprised at the impact this has on the way other people tend to show up as well!